Hogwarts Film Festival
by Marauder-girl
Summary: Er.... Dumbledore has an absurd idea one day and well chaos soon follows!!! Read, Review, flame... Do whatcha like!


Hogwarts Film Festival

(A.K.A: what happens when Marauder-girl drinks WAY too much caffeine!)

Disclaimer: -Sighs- Do I have to? –Lawyers nod and point at contract- Fine!.. –Pouts- … I Marauder-girl do hereby declare that I DO NOT own any of the Harry Potter characters or any of the films/ Plays used in this fic. Which deeply upsets me, as it would mean I could be very, very rich! –Sighs dejectedly and slinks off-

A/N: Er… well I guess it's safe to say READ THIS AT YOUR OWN RISK. It's very obscure and kinda random and was thought up during one of those long caffeine induced sleepless nights. So if you don't get it DON'T WORRY! Neither do I –Grins- Okay time to sit back relax and enjoy this piece of madness I have cooked up. Welcome to The Hogwarts Film Festival!

A/N2: Er.. Pretend that it is Fifth year. Prof Lupin is teaching again and Oliver Wood is there as a quidditch trainer. I had to put these guys in I love them!

Chapter one: The Announcement!

                It started off like any other boring day in the halls of Hogwarts School of witchcraft and wizardry. The sun was shining, the birds were singing and the students were complaining about breakfast being late. But little did these hapless little witches and wizards know that their world was about to be turned upside down. That one little announcement was about to pave the way for humiliation, shame, chaos and laughter by the bucket load. Threaten sexual identities, torture the Wizarding public unknowingly and generally confuse the hell out of everyone.

DUM: -Stands up and taps glass with spoon-

STUDENTS: -Keep chatting-

DUM: -Clears throat loudly-

STUDENTS: -Ignore him and keep talking-

DUM: -Growls- Okay that does it! –Lobs glass onto floor where it smashes and erupts into a pillar of flame-

STUDENTS: EEK!!!!! –Some promptly cack pants-

DUM: -Looks pleased with self- Right now that I have your attention! I do have an announcement to make!

STUDENTS: -Look scared-

DUM: -Ignores them- Right… well as you may have noticed things have gotten a bit.. well quiet recently.

STUDENTS: -Nod in agreement-

DUM: And well I thought that we should do something in order to liven things up a bit, and allow you all to 

broaden your artistic horizons.

STAFF: -Groan-

STUDENTS: -Look confused-

MIN: -V. Annoyed- Well thank you very much for discussing this with us Albus!

DUM: There wasn't time me dear Professor, anyway I wanted the surprise to be school wide.

MIN: -Rolls eyes- Typical!

RV: So what are we doing?

DUM: -Grins- We are going to put on a film festival of sorts!

ALL: WHAT!!???

DUM: -Sighs- A film festival? Let me explain, a film festival is when people put on performances or create plays and are then judged. However in this case you will be given a list of plays etc and then be asked to convert them slightly, as it takes far too long to actually write a play.

ALL: -Groan-

SEV: Headmaster have you truly lost your mind????

DUM: I don't believe so Severus, at least not last time I looked.

MIN: Although it pains me to agree with him –Shoots Snape a dirty look- Albus have you gone completely MENTAL!!!

DUM: -Sighs- No Minerva as I stated to Severus I have not lost my mind. I thought this would be a great opportunity to expand our students minds in a much more creative way.

MIN & SEV: -Do Cuckoo movements around head.-

DUM: -Addressing students- Well as you can see the staff had as much idea about this as you did.

STAFF: Well duh!!!!

STU: -Snigger-

DUM: -Glares- Well enough of this chatter. I think it's about time I explained the rules.

RV: -VERY sarcastic- Of course we'd just Looove to hear them.

DUM: -Rolls eyes- Okay rule one: This IS an interhouse competition! So you will all be facing off against one another –Smirks- That also includes Heads of houses*. I want to see some nice healthy competition.

(* This will be shortened to H.O.H as it's quicker to type J)

MIN: -To Flitwick- He's enjoying EVERY minute of this isn't he?

FLIT:  –Nods despairingly- Yup! Which means BAD news for us!

MIN: -Groans-

DUM: -Carries on oblivious- Right! Rule two: There must be at least ONE member from each year performing in the play.

STU: -Groan- 

STAFF: -Laugh-

DUM: -Smirks evilly- Oh I wouldn't be laughing staff. Rule three: Staff ARE allowed to participate and if they are asked to be in a  production they MUST participate! However once asked they CAN NOT be asked by another participant. If they receive several offers they can choose whom they would rather perform with.

STAFF: NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

DUM: -Still smirking- Rule four: NO OUTSIDE help is allowed, so no contacting your parents, old friends etc. 

–Looks pointedly at Lupin-

REM: -Feigned innocence- What, surely not. –Smirks and mutters to self- I doubt Sirius would want in on this Anywho, although it could have been very amusing. 

RV: WHO'D WANNA HELP!!!!

ALL: -Laugh in agreement-

DUM: -Ignores comment- Rule five: No magic is allowed to be used to make anyone a better actor/ actrice! It may however be used for effects. But they must be discussed with your H.O.H and me.

STU: -Sigh grudgingly-

MIN: -To Flitwick & Sprout- Well that's a relief I would hate to think what that lot would get up to.

FLIT & SPROUT: -Nod & shudder-

SNAPE: -Whispers- Well I'd say we've gotten off pretty lightly. I mean at least we only have to help organise it.

H.O.H: -Nod feeling slightly happier-

DUM: -Oblivious to conversation going on behind back- And finally rule six: H.O.H MUST have an acting role in the production –Smiles evilly-

H.O.H: -Bang heads on table together-

DUM: I believe that is all I have to say, so if you wish to tuck in, go right ahead….

STU: -Raises utensils to tuck in-

DUM: WAIT!!! I knew there was something I'd forgotten! Right Finally as a bit of a.. well incentive, the house which scores the lowest will sub sequentially have their H.O.H Er… well gunged.

STU: -Burst into hysterical laughter-

H.O.H: -Look horrified-

DUM: Well for the second time this morning tuck in!!

STU: -Do so-

~ At the Gryffindor table ~

HAR: Oh My GOD!!! This is going to be awful!!

RON: Tell me about it, but come on we have to look on the bright side of this.

HAR: -Looks sceptical- What bright side?

RON: The fact that we get to humiliate the Professors.

HERM: But that now leads us to our ultimate decision…

HAR: Which is?

HERM: -Grins evilly- Do we ditch McGonagall and get her gunged or…..

RON: Or……. 

HERM: -Grin even more evilly- Or do we do like the rest of the school and try ad get Snape gunged.

HAR: What do you mean the rest of the school?…. –Notices the looks from the Huffelpuff and Ravenclaw tables-….. Ah right.

HAR & RON: -Think for a second- SNAPE!!!

~ Back at the staff table ~

SEV: -Notices the evil glares shooting his way- Oh…. Shit. I'm so dead.

MIN: -Smiling grimly- I know! Isn't it grand!

~ The end.. For now Mwahahahahahahahahaha!!~

Next Chapter: The picking of the plays! – Gryffindor 

A/N: I think I'll leave it there for now –Smirks- So whatcha think? Like the idea? It's one of my more original ones and I'm quite proud of it. Please review…. PWEASE!!!!! Or I won't do anymore chapters!!!! –Laughs evilly- That's an empty threat, I enjoy writing WAY too much to carry it out. But hey it had to be said.

Bye Peeps! 


End file.
